As we prepare to leave China and head to Mexico, I started thinking about all the things we have seen, places we have gone and adventures we have experienced on our journey. It was then that I realized that when we talk about traveling and living abroad, we usually talk about what we have learned about that country and their culture. We talk about our experiences (good and bad) and our crazy adventures, but we never really talk about what we have learned about ourselves. We never really talk about how travel changes who we are, how we see the world and how we interact with those in our world because of our experiences.
We have been living abroad for 7 years now. It has been one of the most rewarding times of my life. I used to think that my husband and I were close when we lived in the States. We never argued, never fought, liked to spend time together, enjoyed each other and laughed a lot. Before we left, I thought I had a strong bond with our children. I thought that I knew them better than anyone in the world. I thought that there was no way things could get better than what we had. I was wrong.
The bond I have with my husband and children has grown exponentially over the years. Traveling, from country to country and city to city, encourages you to evolve your means of communication, your expectations of one another and of yourself and it shows you that no matter how organized and planned out you think you are, the only thing you are truly in control of is you and how you react to situations.
This journey has also taught me very valuable lessons as a friend. I was that friend who was alway there to help someone when they needed it. I am a fixer. If you need an answer, I will find it for you. If you need guidance, I am there to provide it for you. This, friends, is my fatal flaw.
We live a drama free existence by design, yet I was always attracting people who needed drama. Somehow, in my mind, I thought that meant I was supposed to help them, guide them, lead them to the path of least resistance. Talk about narcissistic.
Living abroad, working with people from all over the world, and learning how to interact with people from different cultures has taught me that I have no right to try to fix those around me. I don’t need to guide someone simply because I know the way. It’s “ok” to allow others to fail. Their failures are not mine. Making their failures my failures is selfish and narcissistic.
I’m not going to lie, it is a struggle at times when I see someone I care about, making mistakes that are going to be a kick in the teeth later, but those are lessons they are meant to learn on their own and the lesson I am learning is to allow them to walk the path they choose for themselves.
What is something that you have learned about yourself during your travels? Is there something you would like to work on? What is the most surprising thing you have learned about yourself, while traveling? Leave a comment below.
I’d love to hear from you,
Karen